GetUp! Marriage Equality Video..

Today I saw this on the news and as the massive sook I am, it made me cry.
I believe that every person has the right to spend the rest of their lives legally married to the person they love - no matter what gender they are.

As the generation before us grow older, our generation move closer and closer to office and hopefully to marriage equality. I hope you'll all watch this video and see..

It's just love..

https://www.getup.org.au/campaigns/marriage-equality/love-story/watch-the-video

ways to not pick up at a club

I've really started having an issue with the way guys act in clubs when they're trying to pick up. So many little things that they do make me want to headbutt them and yell 'What would your mother think?!?!' Something about being a nightclub environment transforms boys into sleazeballs and let me let you in on a little secret...

...it's a really, really ginormous turn-off.

Sure, confidence is sexy. But that does not mean you getting all up in my grill makes me want to let you dance with me or buy a drink.

Here are my top list of things that frustrate me somewhat when I'm out..

1) Guys that walk past you and feel it necessary to molest you while they do it - Personally when I walk past people, I don't creepily caress them from their shoulders down to their bum, or move them aside by putting my hands on their butt at all. But still my girlfriends and I cop this everytime we go out. Unnecessary.

2) When they get all up in your face and slur ''Baby have you got a boyfriend?'' - Even though I don't, I'm more than likely going to say yes, just to get you out of my grill with your beer breath and unnecessarily close proximity to my whole life.

3) Guys that encourage their socially awkward friends to stand even more awkwardly behind a girl and when they fail to make a move shove them into eachother - I thoroughly enjoy watching this occur. Especially when the guy has no swagger and literally stands there causing the most awkward situation ever. Pushing your awkward, awkward friend into someone else is not going to miraculously make him pick up. Making it such a fun past time to push your friend into ugly people when you're bored. Good good times.

4) Guys that lift their shirts up showing off their muscles.. or lack thereof - this could possibly just be the fact that I struggle to appreciate normal peoples muscles, after doing gymnastics for 15 years and being surrounded by boys with the most amazing bodies ever, but this doesn't impress me at all. Even if you're the Situation. You still look like a twat. 

5) Infiltration of our dancing circle with your lame dance moves - Jumping into the middle of a circle gyrating around like crazy does not a wise pick up move make. Sure we might laugh. But it's definitely at you. Not with you. Remember this.

6) When they find it necessary to put their hands inside your clothes - I happen to enjoy wearing clothes that are backless or sideless or low cut, not at the same time of course for I am not J-Woww, but always seem to end up, during a harmless conversation with any boy, that their hands wander into the gap in my clothes. I wear these clothes, 'cause their cute, not so you can excite yourselves touching more skin than necessary.. and finally;

7) Guys that stand there awkwardly staring at you across the d-floor while one of their friends invades your personal space and screams in your ear ''My friend thinks you're hot!" - That's nice friend, how about your mate grows some balls and comes over, without putting his hands anywhere he shouldn't and articulate it in not such a crass manner. 

The type of girls that this sort of behaviour attracts is either, really really wasted ones, or really really trashy ones, which is okay if you're not fussy about what you pick up.. 

Myself personally - and my girlfriends as well, agreed that if a guy came up and said 'Excuse me, I'm (insert name here) and I think you're gorgeous', and offered to buy us a drink or had a conversation that shows he can string two words together without putting his hands anywhere inappropriate...that we would be so much more inclined to spend a second of our time on him that isn't laughing at his lack of swagger.

We can dare to dream.

love jules

movember!

It's every girls nightmare month, Movember, when the boys we all love turn into try hard Mexican pornstars!

However, as most of you know both depression and prostate cancer are two causes that are very close to my heart and I am more than happy for any boys in my life to embrace the fact that they have hit puberty for a very, very good cause!

I hope that everyone gets involved, either by donating or growing some facial fur.. heres my attempt!

love jules xx

Sexting.. why in the world?

This whole idea of sexting really has me baffled.
Call me a prude, but I have never ever sent a photo of any naughty part of mine to anyone, and am delighted to hear that anyone caught with a photo of a nakey girl who is underage will spend 8 years on the sex offenders registry. Suckkkeeers.

Call me old-fashioned, but I fail to see the fascination of having a photo of boobies or a bum on your phone. And what happens after they've got it? I mean after the mental and/or physical high-fiving they give themself after they successfully charm / bully a girl into sending them..

Yeah. Sweet. Boobs. Awesome. I'l file that one away for a rainy day?

My inablity to be able to understand the fascination behind these 'selfies' as my friend from work told me that they're called - probably comes from my thoughts that if I was receiving pictures of someones willy - I probably wouldn't be that enthralled.

I don't need to see your junk on my phone. Personally, I'm not that interested in seeing your junk unless its in a circumstance that is going to benefit me at all. I appreciate it for all that it's worth and realise it's necessity in events such as pro-creation, but waving at me from my phone = not so necessary.

So why do teenage boys wear the number of girls they can get to send them nakey photos as a badge of honour? Sure, you got a few sluzzbags to send you photos of their naughties. Great work. Thats definitely a real winner of a girl that you've got there kiddo! But is it perhaps that they have so little faith in their ability to get to see the real deal - that they can only live vicariously through the photos that they have collected of girls in various states of nakey-ness.

But the boys are not purely at fault here, hell if you can convince a girl to take a a rudey nudey photo I say good work, your persuasion skills are obviously commendable, but what type of a banana of a girl would really trust someone that much to have that sort of leverage on them?

I've heard so many times - 'Oh but he's my boyfriend like thats okay.' Really? Do you really think that anyone is really, truly above the idea of revenge? I'm sure as hell not. I'm sure Kim Kardashian thought so. But then everyone found out she let Ray-J wee on her.

I've had this whole idea of snapping a photo of my badoinkadoink in the old fashioned MySpace self portrait way proposed to me many times - and then played against me when I refused. My favourite reaction given: 'But you won't even send me a photo', from someone when they were testing just how willing I was to continue this tiny little flirtation we had. Not willing enough for you to have a photo of the junk in my trunk stashed into your phone for you to use at your own discretion. You pretty much would then have my ass / boobs in a portable version in your pocket. Creepy? I vote yes.

Just you wait 'til you start achieving something in life and BAM! Theres a photo of you in your birthday suit splashed around town. Awkward for you, no? Especially when the boys put you in their spank bank and you're left with a sent box full of you in your best g-bangers and no return on a dinner date.

Lets be a bit smarter about these things - especially when the laws now involved!
jules.

the eighth thing that people wear that annoy me the most..

Laying in bed the other night, I realised that I had forgotten to add possibly my most hated item the list of annoying items of clothing people wear.

Nothing plagues me more, than people who wear.. Fingerless gloves.
Oh my lord. Do I hate fingerless gloves. I am disgusted in myself that I forgot to add them to my list, when they are, hands down, my most hated object in the entire world.

Some argue on behalf of their practicality, but I really don't see it. Personally, during winter, I am mostly worried about the loss of my extremities - being my hands and fingers. Without a 'yeah I climbed Everest and lost my fingers,' kind of story - the glory of being fingerless is zilch, henceforth full fingered gloves are necessary.

So why, in God's name do people insist on wearing these pathetic excuse for winter warmers? While they be popular with the emos and hipsters of the world - you still look like a juvenile delinqient twat.

They say they are practical, that they help you grip the steering wheel, the lock on your locker etc. Mate, your car has a heater and who the eff would sacrifice the safety of their fingers to make sure they can open their locker. Noone likes school that much.

While I acknowledge the 80's trend spawned by Madonna that is lace fingerless gloves - I think I hate them more than woolen fingerless gloves. My sister, the classy being that she is bought a black lace pair to wear as an addition to her JWoww costume. As a joke I tried one on, just one, and never have I wanted to gnaw my own hand off except for that one moment.

Fingerless gloves, in every way shape and form -  make me want to die.
Do yourself a favour, and invest in some real gloves before your fingers fall off. If you haven't climbed Everest.. being extremity-less is not worth the risk of wearing a half-assed pair of gloves.

love jules.

the word 'basically'

There is nothing that I hate more, than when people use the word 'basically'.
This is something that has plagued me my entire schooling, especially when it comes out of people in my year level / class / age group etc.

When someone starts to answer a question and starts it with 'Basically -', I want to rip their tounge out the back of their head and strangle them with it.

Don't act as if you're dumbing down your answer for all us simpletons who aren't on the same intellectual plane as you, because you are so smart and fantastic and have so much inside knowledge to life.

This annoyed me at university the other day when I had a guy try to tell me that 'Basically, the movie is a social commentary on the socialist regime of America.'

It's quite obviously not, it's a movie about aliens - that has Denise Richards fannying about in a short skirt and naked people in unisex showers, and you are quite obviously a banana with too much time on your hands. Time that is used to look into non-existent meanings in movies and then try to simpify it for all of us people who are too 'basic' to understand this.

I did say that too him. But might have added also: 'Basically, I think that you're on crack.'

julia.

seven things people wear that annoy me the most..

Everyday, I encounter someone who is wearing one of my seven most hated items. It makes me want roll on the ground screaming "WHY?!?!?" while methodically beating them over the head with two years worth of Vogues that live in my room, cursing whoever put the idea into their head that they look good.

Far be it for me to think that my opinion on what looks good is gold, I'm sure my own personal tendency to wear leggings as pants pisses many people off.. but seriously..

1) White boots: I want to drag these off every single girl I see wearing them and throw them back to the 80's. White boots? Come on. One wears boots in winter. In winter it rains, and makes mud. Mud makes white boots even dirty than they are, just for being white boots. I vote no.

2) Top hats on girls: I do not care if your prowess in the tap-dancing field envies Fred Astaire and you feel like sharing this by wearing your top hat around in day-to-day life, you look like a banana.

3) Sleeveless turtlenecks: My petulance for sleeveless turtlenecks probably comes from my own past, and one outfit that embodies this hate and the next.. I dont understand the idea behind this. You're either wearing a turtleneck, or a short sleeved shirt. You can't do both. You just can't.

4) Horizontal Stripes: Let me clarify this. Some people, like my sister, look really really good in horizontal stripes. Some people, who chose to wear block coloured striped oversized v-neck jumpers DO NOT. Especially when paired with Adidas three stripe tracksuit pants. Sigh.

5) Hoop earrings: I do not care, if you are J.Lo, Snooki from Jersey Shore, or pure latina, hoop earrings make you look like a prostitute. Even worse than normal hoop earrings, coloured hoop earrings. Jersey Shore you and your entertaining, but hoop earring wearing girls are the main culprit of this. But i still love them.

6) Jeans and runners: Commonly known as Junners, i want to staple things to the head of every person i see rocking this combination, common among mothers over 40 and the like. While i acknowledge the functionality of the outfit.. you still look like a fool.

7) Wrong bra girls: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Possibly my most hated faux pas. How hard is it to match the right bra with the right outfit? BACKLESS IS BACKLESS FOR A REASON!!! There has been a revolution of appropriate bra wear - stick on bras, extended back straps that pull your bra down, adhesive tape.. the list is endless! I have to resist the urge to snap open the clasp of every wrong bra wearing girl i see, just to teach them a lesson. Clear bra straps are not a resolution to this problem either. They possibly look worse.

But hey.
I wear leggings as pants.
What of it?

the only italian in the world who can't cook.

I can't cook. There. I admitted it. While most Italians are born with a wooden spoon in their hand (doubling as a convenient tool for discipline on misbehaving children), screaming "MANGIA" and making meatballs, this gene appears to have skipped me completely.

I don't understand the concept of time management and multitasking, two skills apparently imperative to cooking prowess. This has resulted in many things being burnt, overcooked, undercooked, dropped and my ego therefore = damaged.

There was one incident even when I set my stove-top on fire, and then had a pan explode in the sink. Apparently hot oil and hot water don't mix.. who knew?

The extent of my cooking ability ranges from toast to soft boiled eggs, even both at the same time on a good day. Also recently, much to my families joy, I learnt how to whip cream. However, these abilities do not extend to apple muffins, which were tried and failed recently.

Determined to prove to myself that I am NOT kitchenly impaired, apple muffins seemed the perfect snack to accompany a night of Jersey Shore watching with my friend..who likes to amuse himself with the idea of how incredibly retarted I am at necessary life activities.

Yeah. So awkwardly enough, he might be right.

All seemed well and good initally and I proudly put my muffins into the oven with a smug smile, picturing everyone raving about how good they are, with my sister revoking her claim to being the best dessert chef in the whole wide world.

Apparently cooking time is meant to be adhered to, and 12 - 15 minutes means just that, not 20 - 25 minutes because you get distracted reading Vogue. Real chefs don't get distracted. So I'm told.

I come up with the brilliant plan to disguise the somewhat burnt but still edible muffins with icing sugar, Hello Masterchef, not all is lost.

My sister, who mind you - is possibly one of the best cooks I know, was eager to taste my toils, probably envisaging a day where she doesnt kick me out of the kitchen asking if I am "frigging retarted" after an incident that saw me not arranging sprinkles to her satisfaction.

It was she who poked her head in the bathroom while I was still basking in culinary glory, asking if I had time to make another batch before I left. Hello, confusion! Had she loved them so much that she wanted to eat them all, and share them with her friends and rave about how her sister might knock her off her dessert mantle?

Apparently not.

Did anyone else know that baking powder and baking soda aren't the same thing? I didn't. I do now.

My sister informed me that they were so awful that she had to spit it into the bin, and then forced me to take a giant bite out of my own mishap. I may aswell have dived into a large vat of salt with my mouth open after consuming an apple. The insides of one was even red. Not even my dad wanted to eat them. My dad once ate a baby turtle in Japan so not to offend his hosts. He said, and I quote "I wanted to die. They just got worse with each bite." Culinary prowess - shattered.

My mother, who was so proud that her youngest daughter might grow up to do something better than present her future grandchildren with soft-boiled eggs everyday of their life, soothed my shattered ego, reassuring me that I would never make the same mistake again, if I ever ventured into the world of apple muffins for more humiliation.

I probably won't.
It's probably safer for everyone.

julia.