ways to not pick up at a club

I've really started having an issue with the way guys act in clubs when they're trying to pick up. So many little things that they do make me want to headbutt them and yell 'What would your mother think?!?!' Something about being a nightclub environment transforms boys into sleazeballs and let me let you in on a little secret...

...it's a really, really ginormous turn-off.

Sure, confidence is sexy. But that does not mean you getting all up in my grill makes me want to let you dance with me or buy a drink.

Here are my top list of things that frustrate me somewhat when I'm out..

1) Guys that walk past you and feel it necessary to molest you while they do it - Personally when I walk past people, I don't creepily caress them from their shoulders down to their bum, or move them aside by putting my hands on their butt at all. But still my girlfriends and I cop this everytime we go out. Unnecessary.

2) When they get all up in your face and slur ''Baby have you got a boyfriend?'' - Even though I don't, I'm more than likely going to say yes, just to get you out of my grill with your beer breath and unnecessarily close proximity to my whole life.

3) Guys that encourage their socially awkward friends to stand even more awkwardly behind a girl and when they fail to make a move shove them into eachother - I thoroughly enjoy watching this occur. Especially when the guy has no swagger and literally stands there causing the most awkward situation ever. Pushing your awkward, awkward friend into someone else is not going to miraculously make him pick up. Making it such a fun past time to push your friend into ugly people when you're bored. Good good times.

4) Guys that lift their shirts up showing off their muscles.. or lack thereof - this could possibly just be the fact that I struggle to appreciate normal peoples muscles, after doing gymnastics for 15 years and being surrounded by boys with the most amazing bodies ever, but this doesn't impress me at all. Even if you're the Situation. You still look like a twat. 

5) Infiltration of our dancing circle with your lame dance moves - Jumping into the middle of a circle gyrating around like crazy does not a wise pick up move make. Sure we might laugh. But it's definitely at you. Not with you. Remember this.

6) When they find it necessary to put their hands inside your clothes - I happen to enjoy wearing clothes that are backless or sideless or low cut, not at the same time of course for I am not J-Woww, but always seem to end up, during a harmless conversation with any boy, that their hands wander into the gap in my clothes. I wear these clothes, 'cause their cute, not so you can excite yourselves touching more skin than necessary.. and finally;

7) Guys that stand there awkwardly staring at you across the d-floor while one of their friends invades your personal space and screams in your ear ''My friend thinks you're hot!" - That's nice friend, how about your mate grows some balls and comes over, without putting his hands anywhere he shouldn't and articulate it in not such a crass manner. 

The type of girls that this sort of behaviour attracts is either, really really wasted ones, or really really trashy ones, which is okay if you're not fussy about what you pick up.. 

Myself personally - and my girlfriends as well, agreed that if a guy came up and said 'Excuse me, I'm (insert name here) and I think you're gorgeous', and offered to buy us a drink or had a conversation that shows he can string two words together without putting his hands anywhere inappropriate...that we would be so much more inclined to spend a second of our time on him that isn't laughing at his lack of swagger.

We can dare to dream.

love jules

movember!

It's every girls nightmare month, Movember, when the boys we all love turn into try hard Mexican pornstars!

However, as most of you know both depression and prostate cancer are two causes that are very close to my heart and I am more than happy for any boys in my life to embrace the fact that they have hit puberty for a very, very good cause!

I hope that everyone gets involved, either by donating or growing some facial fur.. heres my attempt!

love jules xx