Today I undertook a task that is dreaded by many women the world over..... Jeans shopping.
Some may scoff at the sheer and absolute terror that I experience when even thinking about wearing a pair of jeans, but apparently these people don't have a bum that could easily be Kim Kardashians smaller sibling, while simultaneously being the height of a matchstick.
Pair that with the family trait of having a 'vertical smile' that offers multiple people the chance to post a letter when bending down in any normal pair of pants, and wearing jeans becomes potentially problematic.
However in the past few weeks I have some to the realisation that I am in fact almost 20 years old, and can no longer get away with wearing leggings as pants outside of the gym or my lounge room.
It was time for me to be a big girl and join the world of jeans wearers having already disposed of the tummy baring tops and any item that has a cropped hem of my youth.
Let me tell you all something, I have never been in and out of my pants that many times in one day, that was ridiculous. And pulling jeans up is hard work! I started to break out in a bit of a sweat for a bit there with a particularly difficult pair.
But suprisingly, I didn't once roll around the ground of the change rooms crying like I thought I would, while everyone stands around pointing at the poor girl who can't find jeans that will simultaneously fit her bum and not trip over the ends.
Alas, I did find pairs that managed to do just that.. albeit I will have to have them taken up about a kilometre, but it's a worthy price to pay!
So now I've given up leggings.. but I refuse to give up my pink, yellow and purple Dobson tracksuit pants. You will not make me.
love jules
ps. a big thank you to my beautiful best friend steff and my adopted baby sister taylah for having the patience to take me jeans shopping xx
Wednesday, 4 April 2012
Tuesday, 24 January 2012
we all kiss and tell..
They say that you have to kiss a hundred frogs before you find a prince.. but they fail to mention that there are two types of frogs. Ones that can kiss well and ones that can't.
And boy, when they can't. They definitely can't. Trust me. I've done the... research.
My beautiful girlfriends and I have had many a conversation about the times you've wanted to forget that you kissed that person because they were just THAT bad.
No matter how hot you are, if you force us to endure what I'm about to mention.. we will squeal and run away. Which many of us have done, while simultaneously wiping our faces and cursing the male species.
Gone are the days of it being understandable because we were 13 years old at the Eclipse while your friends stood around cheering and as you sneakily try to put your hands on our bums.. Boys, most of you reading this will be around 20 years old. You need to learn what is MOST DEFINITELY not acceptable. If not for your sake.. for ours too.
1) Biters: A little bit of teeth can be kind of cheeky and fun, but heres the deal. By that I mean a slight nibble like the way you might a neck, not the way you attack a steak. If your incisors come-a-chomping anywhere near our mouths, we will squeal. Bella from Twilight might be into it, but we are not. Even if you do look like Edward.
2) Slobberers: I don't know whether some people genuinely have overactive saliva glands, but the last thing we want is to go in for a nice smooch and come out feeling like our faces have gone swimming. There comes a time when you need to realise that kissing someone does not mean exchanging enough saliva that your DNA combines. Unless you enjoy us being physically repulsed by you and running off wiping our faces.. Sort your shit out.
3) Facial hair: You may think you look all Wolverine with your two week old five o'clock shadow, but heres the deal. Whiskers, cute on cats - not cute when they perform microdermabrasion during a snog and we end up with pash rash all the way from our schnoz to our chins. Your stubble may be sexy, but please think of the consequences to our poor defenseless faces.
4) Lazy tounges: Sure, a peach is a peach and a plum is a plum but a kiss ain't a kiss without some tounge.. but how much tounge you ask? There is a fine line and that line is crossed when you get lazy and leave it in there for far too long. You endanger yourself in this instance, with the aforementioned biting. Leave your little mate there, especially when we've asked you and we will bite it off. Consider yourselves warned.
5) Overactive tounges: Just as annoying as a lazy tounge is an overactive one. There is nothing more alarming than having someone grab you and assume that the way to properly kiss you is to pretend that their tounge is a jackhammer and your mouth solid ground. A favourite of the boys back in the day at the Eclipse, but it's time to re-evaluate my friends! Leave your jackhammers in the garage and slow down with the hypersactive tounge business.
6) Face eaters: A common, common issue with many boys we've come across, is their inability to tell the difference between our mouths and the rest of our faces. Please boys, for the love of all that is good and pure in this world, keep the kissing confined to our lips! Please DO NOT involve our chins or any other part of our faces. And then when we try to move away to rectify the issue, let us do so. Don't hold on to us in a vice like grip so we can't go anywhere. The kiss will really really not last long as we run away screaming from the cannibal that we mistake you for. Chances are that if you manage to obey the rest of the aforementioned things, you won't have to clamp onto our faces like so and we won't go anywhere.
7) Smotherers: A close relative to the face-eater, also known as a face-raper, is the smotherer. The type that may not clamp onto your face like a vacuum but still employs the same tactic of smothering you so tight that your nose is smooshed, blocking off your one and vital source of air. You cannot move, you cannot breathe. The only way to get away is to grab the nearest person if you have a free arm, or knee them in the naughties. Desperate times call for desperate measures ladies.
They say that if you really like someone then the kissing doesn't matter. Some even suggest that some boys can be taught.. if you make it past the smothering, biting, pash rash inducing facial hair stage without running away screaming or resorting to violence to escape that is.
Let me sign off with saying also.. a good breath mint.. goes a long way.
Happy snogging!
And boy, when they can't. They definitely can't. Trust me. I've done the... research.
My beautiful girlfriends and I have had many a conversation about the times you've wanted to forget that you kissed that person because they were just THAT bad.
No matter how hot you are, if you force us to endure what I'm about to mention.. we will squeal and run away. Which many of us have done, while simultaneously wiping our faces and cursing the male species.
Gone are the days of it being understandable because we were 13 years old at the Eclipse while your friends stood around cheering and as you sneakily try to put your hands on our bums.. Boys, most of you reading this will be around 20 years old. You need to learn what is MOST DEFINITELY not acceptable. If not for your sake.. for ours too.
1) Biters: A little bit of teeth can be kind of cheeky and fun, but heres the deal. By that I mean a slight nibble like the way you might a neck, not the way you attack a steak. If your incisors come-a-chomping anywhere near our mouths, we will squeal. Bella from Twilight might be into it, but we are not. Even if you do look like Edward.
2) Slobberers: I don't know whether some people genuinely have overactive saliva glands, but the last thing we want is to go in for a nice smooch and come out feeling like our faces have gone swimming. There comes a time when you need to realise that kissing someone does not mean exchanging enough saliva that your DNA combines. Unless you enjoy us being physically repulsed by you and running off wiping our faces.. Sort your shit out.
3) Facial hair: You may think you look all Wolverine with your two week old five o'clock shadow, but heres the deal. Whiskers, cute on cats - not cute when they perform microdermabrasion during a snog and we end up with pash rash all the way from our schnoz to our chins. Your stubble may be sexy, but please think of the consequences to our poor defenseless faces.
4) Lazy tounges: Sure, a peach is a peach and a plum is a plum but a kiss ain't a kiss without some tounge.. but how much tounge you ask? There is a fine line and that line is crossed when you get lazy and leave it in there for far too long. You endanger yourself in this instance, with the aforementioned biting. Leave your little mate there, especially when we've asked you and we will bite it off. Consider yourselves warned.
5) Overactive tounges: Just as annoying as a lazy tounge is an overactive one. There is nothing more alarming than having someone grab you and assume that the way to properly kiss you is to pretend that their tounge is a jackhammer and your mouth solid ground. A favourite of the boys back in the day at the Eclipse, but it's time to re-evaluate my friends! Leave your jackhammers in the garage and slow down with the hypersactive tounge business.
6) Face eaters: A common, common issue with many boys we've come across, is their inability to tell the difference between our mouths and the rest of our faces. Please boys, for the love of all that is good and pure in this world, keep the kissing confined to our lips! Please DO NOT involve our chins or any other part of our faces. And then when we try to move away to rectify the issue, let us do so. Don't hold on to us in a vice like grip so we can't go anywhere. The kiss will really really not last long as we run away screaming from the cannibal that we mistake you for. Chances are that if you manage to obey the rest of the aforementioned things, you won't have to clamp onto our faces like so and we won't go anywhere.
7) Smotherers: A close relative to the face-eater, also known as a face-raper, is the smotherer. The type that may not clamp onto your face like a vacuum but still employs the same tactic of smothering you so tight that your nose is smooshed, blocking off your one and vital source of air. You cannot move, you cannot breathe. The only way to get away is to grab the nearest person if you have a free arm, or knee them in the naughties. Desperate times call for desperate measures ladies.
They say that if you really like someone then the kissing doesn't matter. Some even suggest that some boys can be taught.. if you make it past the smothering, biting, pash rash inducing facial hair stage without running away screaming or resorting to violence to escape that is.
Let me sign off with saying also.. a good breath mint.. goes a long way.
Happy snogging!
Monday, 16 January 2012
making frugal fashionable..
I had what one would call a very rude awakening in the last few days, that being that I need to save in air of 10 grand for my trip to South America in December. And that after having my license for over a year, I still don't have a car.
Pathetic, one could say. And in desperate need of money.
After weighing up the pro's and con's of both stripping and prostitution I decided to make a new New Years Resolution and that is to be frugal with my money, but to retain the aspects of my social life that are important to me.. even if it's just to try and make sure I avoid working any street corners in the near future.
So here is my guide to saving money, but not crawling in a hole to do so.
1) Don't pay for drinks at a restaurant: The biggest money sucker in the whole world is that soft drink or glass of wine you order to go with your meal. Ladies and gentlemen, that jug of water on the table - It's free. And they refill it. Free of charge. Say you drink three glasses of whatever at dinner, at say $3.50 a pop. That's $10.50 a meal. Thats $42 a month if you go out for dinner once a week. Fabulous!
2) Scoping out good deals at your favourite store: While everyone else would say 'Don't shop at all', I know that that is definitely not a realistic option for me. So I have one word for all you poor shoppers out there - SALE. Instead of hanging around the shops everyday waiting for a sale to pop up at your favourite store; join their Facebook group, or follow their Twitter. Perfect way to be informed of your favourite stores sales and not be tempted at the shops hunting them down. Online stores like ASOS have sales quite literally ALL THE TIME and free shipping so they're also a brilliant option!
3) Drinking your coffee at home, instead of at a cafe: Ahh, going out for a coffee. The quintessential catch-up activity. While nothing beats a barista made coffee, or latte (so I've heard, I don't actually drink coffee), you can save a bundle by having your catch ups at home. Invite your mates over for a cuppa sitting at your coffee table. Definite upside: you don't even have to get out of your trackies.
4) Pre-drinking: An oldy but a goody. I personally think I have undervalued pre-drinking in my previous years. Possibly the greatest money saver of all time - getting hammered beforehand so you don't have to buy any drinks at the club, or less than you normally would. Think of it this way - a 4 pack of doubles (the perfect amount for the lightweights of the world, such as myself) for $20 as opposed to two and a bit piss weak mixer drinks at a club. Cha-ching!
5) Recycling your clothes: Gone are the funds that allowed us to buy a new outfit whenever we go out. So ladies, dig into the backs of your wardrobes, spend a day trying all your old clothes on that you're contemplating throwing out and see what you can match them with to make them look new again. Chuck on a different necklace, style your hair a different way, anything to re-energise an old outfit. In the end, if it looked good then, it's going to look good now! Ps. Your girlfriends all have wardrobes too!
If all else fails.. find yourself a sugar daddy!
Happy saving xx
Pathetic, one could say. And in desperate need of money.
After weighing up the pro's and con's of both stripping and prostitution I decided to make a new New Years Resolution and that is to be frugal with my money, but to retain the aspects of my social life that are important to me.. even if it's just to try and make sure I avoid working any street corners in the near future.
So here is my guide to saving money, but not crawling in a hole to do so.
1) Don't pay for drinks at a restaurant: The biggest money sucker in the whole world is that soft drink or glass of wine you order to go with your meal. Ladies and gentlemen, that jug of water on the table - It's free. And they refill it. Free of charge. Say you drink three glasses of whatever at dinner, at say $3.50 a pop. That's $10.50 a meal. Thats $42 a month if you go out for dinner once a week. Fabulous!
2) Scoping out good deals at your favourite store: While everyone else would say 'Don't shop at all', I know that that is definitely not a realistic option for me. So I have one word for all you poor shoppers out there - SALE. Instead of hanging around the shops everyday waiting for a sale to pop up at your favourite store; join their Facebook group, or follow their Twitter. Perfect way to be informed of your favourite stores sales and not be tempted at the shops hunting them down. Online stores like ASOS have sales quite literally ALL THE TIME and free shipping so they're also a brilliant option!
3) Drinking your coffee at home, instead of at a cafe: Ahh, going out for a coffee. The quintessential catch-up activity. While nothing beats a barista made coffee, or latte (so I've heard, I don't actually drink coffee), you can save a bundle by having your catch ups at home. Invite your mates over for a cuppa sitting at your coffee table. Definite upside: you don't even have to get out of your trackies.
4) Pre-drinking: An oldy but a goody. I personally think I have undervalued pre-drinking in my previous years. Possibly the greatest money saver of all time - getting hammered beforehand so you don't have to buy any drinks at the club, or less than you normally would. Think of it this way - a 4 pack of doubles (the perfect amount for the lightweights of the world, such as myself) for $20 as opposed to two and a bit piss weak mixer drinks at a club. Cha-ching!
5) Recycling your clothes: Gone are the funds that allowed us to buy a new outfit whenever we go out. So ladies, dig into the backs of your wardrobes, spend a day trying all your old clothes on that you're contemplating throwing out and see what you can match them with to make them look new again. Chuck on a different necklace, style your hair a different way, anything to re-energise an old outfit. In the end, if it looked good then, it's going to look good now! Ps. Your girlfriends all have wardrobes too!
If all else fails.. find yourself a sugar daddy!
Happy saving xx
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
Karlie Kloss for Vogue Italia.. too skinny?
Today I saw this editorial in Vogue Italia of American model Karlie Kloss.. I first noticed her as the newest Angel on the Victoria's Secret show.. and then saw this.
She is, without a doubt, a ridiculously beautiful girl and deserves all manner of success in the modelling business.. but there is something about these photos that made me openly shudder.
She is, without a doubt, a ridiculously beautiful girl and deserves all manner of success in the modelling business.. but there is something about these photos that made me openly shudder.
Sorry about the boobs, but its Italian Vogue.
I think, that this girl is overly skinny and would be worried about the way these images portray female beauty to the younger generation. She looks like the wind might snap her into a thousand tiny, albeit good-looking pieces.
I am quite obviously aware that skinny girls is the norm within the industry and I'm not condemning it, just thinking that perhaps this has taken beauty to a new and unachievable level.
Steven Meisel always pushes the boundaries, but I feel like this time someone should have stepped in and stopped this going to press.
It is absolutely no fault of Karlie Kloss, she looks the way she does and it is coveted in the fashion industry.. and damn does she have the longest legs in the world.
It is absolutely no fault of Karlie Kloss, she looks the way she does and it is coveted in the fashion industry.. and damn does she have the longest legs in the world.
Love Jules xx
P.S. After it's negative reception the picture on the left about was pulled from future publications.
Thursday, 1 December 2011
GetUp! Marriage Equality Video..
Today I saw this on the news and as the massive sook I am, it made me cry.
I believe that every person has the right to spend the rest of their lives legally married to the person they love - no matter what gender they are.
As the generation before us grow older, our generation move closer and closer to office and hopefully to marriage equality. I hope you'll all watch this video and see..
It's just love..
https://www.getup.org.au/campaigns/marriage-equality/love-story/watch-the-video
I believe that every person has the right to spend the rest of their lives legally married to the person they love - no matter what gender they are.
As the generation before us grow older, our generation move closer and closer to office and hopefully to marriage equality. I hope you'll all watch this video and see..
It's just love..
https://www.getup.org.au/campaigns/marriage-equality/love-story/watch-the-video
Sunday, 13 November 2011
ways to not pick up at a club
I've really started having an issue with the way guys act in clubs when they're trying to pick up. So many little things that they do make me want to headbutt them and yell 'What would your mother think?!?!' Something about being a nightclub environment transforms boys into sleazeballs and let me let you in on a little secret...
...it's a really, really ginormous turn-off.
Sure, confidence is sexy. But that does not mean you getting all up in my grill makes me want to let you dance with me or buy a drink.
Here are my top list of things that frustrate me somewhat when I'm out..
1) Guys that walk past you and feel it necessary to molest you while they do it - Personally when I walk past people, I don't creepily caress them from their shoulders down to their bum, or move them aside by putting my hands on their butt at all. But still my girlfriends and I cop this everytime we go out. Unnecessary.
2) When they get all up in your face and slur ''Baby have you got a boyfriend?'' - Even though I don't, I'm more than likely going to say yes, just to get you out of my grill with your beer breath and unnecessarily close proximity to my whole life.
3) Guys that encourage their socially awkward friends to stand even more awkwardly behind a girl and when they fail to make a move shove them into eachother - I thoroughly enjoy watching this occur. Especially when the guy has no swagger and literally stands there causing the most awkward situation ever. Pushing your awkward, awkward friend into someone else is not going to miraculously make him pick up. Making it such a fun past time to push your friend into ugly people when you're bored. Good good times.
4) Guys that lift their shirts up showing off their muscles.. or lack thereof - this could possibly just be the fact that I struggle to appreciate normal peoples muscles, after doing gymnastics for 15 years and being surrounded by boys with the most amazing bodies ever, but this doesn't impress me at all. Even if you're the Situation. You still look like a twat.
5) Infiltration of our dancing circle with your lame dance moves - Jumping into the middle of a circle gyrating around like crazy does not a wise pick up move make. Sure we might laugh. But it's definitely at you. Not with you. Remember this.
6) When they find it necessary to put their hands inside your clothes - I happen to enjoy wearing clothes that are backless or sideless or low cut, not at the same time of course for I am not J-Woww, but always seem to end up, during a harmless conversation with any boy, that their hands wander into the gap in my clothes. I wear these clothes, 'cause their cute, not so you can excite yourselves touching more skin than necessary.. and finally;
7) Guys that stand there awkwardly staring at you across the d-floor while one of their friends invades your personal space and screams in your ear ''My friend thinks you're hot!" - That's nice friend, how about your mate grows some balls and comes over, without putting his hands anywhere he shouldn't and articulate it in not such a crass manner.
The type of girls that this sort of behaviour attracts is either, really really wasted ones, or really really trashy ones, which is okay if you're not fussy about what you pick up..
Myself personally - and my girlfriends as well, agreed that if a guy came up and said 'Excuse me, I'm (insert name here) and I think you're gorgeous', and offered to buy us a drink or had a conversation that shows he can string two words together without putting his hands anywhere inappropriate...that we would be so much more inclined to spend a second of our time on him that isn't laughing at his lack of swagger.
We can dare to dream.
love jules
...it's a really, really ginormous turn-off.
Sure, confidence is sexy. But that does not mean you getting all up in my grill makes me want to let you dance with me or buy a drink.
Here are my top list of things that frustrate me somewhat when I'm out..
1) Guys that walk past you and feel it necessary to molest you while they do it - Personally when I walk past people, I don't creepily caress them from their shoulders down to their bum, or move them aside by putting my hands on their butt at all. But still my girlfriends and I cop this everytime we go out. Unnecessary.
2) When they get all up in your face and slur ''Baby have you got a boyfriend?'' - Even though I don't, I'm more than likely going to say yes, just to get you out of my grill with your beer breath and unnecessarily close proximity to my whole life.
3) Guys that encourage their socially awkward friends to stand even more awkwardly behind a girl and when they fail to make a move shove them into eachother - I thoroughly enjoy watching this occur. Especially when the guy has no swagger and literally stands there causing the most awkward situation ever. Pushing your awkward, awkward friend into someone else is not going to miraculously make him pick up. Making it such a fun past time to push your friend into ugly people when you're bored. Good good times.
4) Guys that lift their shirts up showing off their muscles.. or lack thereof - this could possibly just be the fact that I struggle to appreciate normal peoples muscles, after doing gymnastics for 15 years and being surrounded by boys with the most amazing bodies ever, but this doesn't impress me at all. Even if you're the Situation. You still look like a twat.
5) Infiltration of our dancing circle with your lame dance moves - Jumping into the middle of a circle gyrating around like crazy does not a wise pick up move make. Sure we might laugh. But it's definitely at you. Not with you. Remember this.
6) When they find it necessary to put their hands inside your clothes - I happen to enjoy wearing clothes that are backless or sideless or low cut, not at the same time of course for I am not J-Woww, but always seem to end up, during a harmless conversation with any boy, that their hands wander into the gap in my clothes. I wear these clothes, 'cause their cute, not so you can excite yourselves touching more skin than necessary.. and finally;
7) Guys that stand there awkwardly staring at you across the d-floor while one of their friends invades your personal space and screams in your ear ''My friend thinks you're hot!" - That's nice friend, how about your mate grows some balls and comes over, without putting his hands anywhere he shouldn't and articulate it in not such a crass manner.
The type of girls that this sort of behaviour attracts is either, really really wasted ones, or really really trashy ones, which is okay if you're not fussy about what you pick up..
Myself personally - and my girlfriends as well, agreed that if a guy came up and said 'Excuse me, I'm (insert name here) and I think you're gorgeous', and offered to buy us a drink or had a conversation that shows he can string two words together without putting his hands anywhere inappropriate...that we would be so much more inclined to spend a second of our time on him that isn't laughing at his lack of swagger.
We can dare to dream.
love jules
Sunday, 6 November 2011
movember!
It's every girls nightmare month, Movember, when the boys we all love turn into try hard Mexican pornstars!
However, as most of you know both depression and prostate cancer are two causes that are very close to my heart and I am more than happy for any boys in my life to embrace the fact that they have hit puberty for a very, very good cause!
I hope that everyone gets involved, either by donating or growing some facial fur.. heres my attempt!
love jules xx
However, as most of you know both depression and prostate cancer are two causes that are very close to my heart and I am more than happy for any boys in my life to embrace the fact that they have hit puberty for a very, very good cause!
I hope that everyone gets involved, either by donating or growing some facial fur.. heres my attempt!
love jules xx
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